If you want to strike up a conversation...

...then think of something intelligent to talk about. PLEASE! ...Every Tom, Dick and Harry feels the need to inquire about me and my life... I'm over talking about me and honestly it's none of your business considering that we just met... If you REALLY want to know about me then keep coming back. Regulars have the right to learn about the personal details... Not the new guy... In the meantime lets talk about movies, books, politics, art, the particle collider, North Korea and their 4th of July plans, Ren & Stimpy... You get my point...

Seriously...

Don't ask me if I'm an actress. I know we live in LA but this question is getting really old...

Don't ask me what I do on my free time

Don't ask me where I live (yes, a guy asked me this tonight!)

Don't ask me how my boyfriend feels about me being a bartender (this is the LAMEST attempt to find out if I am single or not)

Don't try to talk yourself up in any way, shape or form. Just BE! ...Last night a guy made it an obvious point to mention that he was a doctor. I guess he assumed that I didn't hear him since I never inquired as to what kind of doctor he was. So, upon signing out his tab he left a note which read, "If you're single and want to date a really annoying doctor then please call or text me @ 310-495-5412..." 1.) I heard you the first time 2.) I still could care less... 3.) Texting is going to be the death of relationships. Do you really want to start off that way!? ...Mind you, at the same time the waitress is being talked up by some dude who's rambling on about his porshe, ferrari, etc... Bottom line is, if you use external things to win girls over then you most likely have nothing to offer that I'd be interested in...

People, just be real... If you have nothing interesting in your noggin that you are truly interested in conversing about then zip it until you do... Don't desperatly reach for something to fill the space. It's brain numbing and makes me want to find a glass to clean on the other side of the bar...

P.s. The doctors number found a home in the trash... However, I do recommend that you call the number above for a good laugh...

~Peace

Not on the bar please? (Posted By Shane)

Of course alcohol makes us all do silly things, be it think we're more attractive, sing, dance etc. But please guys if you do hook up with someone in the bar, think about what your doing and where you are!
Saturday was pretty busy and we had a large group of guys in after watching the rugby and some girls on a hen party. Obviously after a few drinks some of the guys and girls hit it off and were kissing, no problems there, even if I'm not one for public displays of affection myself. But later on one of the couples were groping and kissing eachother at the bar taking up, what I call some valuable real estate, especially on a Saturday night. As it was coming towards the end of the night I said nothing and kept working away.
Anyway 10 mins later I'm making a round of B52's (each carefully layered) and 4 Dirty Martini's when the previously mentioned girl from the couple jumped backwards up on the bar and knocks all the drinks over! I'm kinda pissed now and tell her I want the money for the round she's just spilled but only when I look closely I notice the guy has his cock out and she it wearing no underwear that I really lose it. These guys were going to have sex on my bar, in front of me and hundreds of others without a care in the world! So as she forks out the cash I tell them to cool off and unleash the soda gun on them! Needless to say they weren't happy but the other customers were bent double laughing and I finished the night much happier.

So just to close I have some knowledge I can pass on, if you can't wait til you get home to get it on, at least be clever and use the disabled toilets (their more spacious!) or the side alleyway but never ever on the bar!

"Hello Kitty"

Okay, I feel obligated to put this one out there... What's up with the Hello Kitty logo on your credit card girls!??!? Get a National Geographic Logo. A sports team you like. Maybe even your college's logo! In the worst case scenario get the cute PETA puppy and kitten logo but NOT Hello Kitty!!! ...Some of you are actually really cute so you could even put a sexy picture on your credit card AND it would also double as theft protection!

...I think to myself, "If I were a guy and some chick pulled out her credit card to pay for a round of drinks I'd be tickled pink! That is of course until I realized that her pink credit card was in fact a Hello Kitty credit card." That's the equivillent of a man pulling out a Mutant Ninja Turtle Visa Card!

I'd start to wonder if she's wearing Hello Kitty panties!? Is she any good in the sack??? Does she have a corny laugh?! What's the wattage of the bulb upstairs? There are a million other things I would also be thinking but in my attempt to expedite this blog I will carry on and say that I don't think my conscience would have allowed me to let her buy the round of drinks... After all she may need that money for her new Hannah Montana doll she's been saving up for...

Is this where I stop? Am I out of line here? I think this is where I will stop and ask you to share some thoughts...

GOOD NIGHT!
Boo-yah!

?

Why is it always the cheap ones that have the audacity to ask for a strong drink?!

Beer

Customer: "What kind of beer do you have?"

Bartender: "Amstel Light, Miller Light, Red Stripe, Fat Tire, Blue Moon, Miller 64 and Peroni."

Customer: "I'll take a New Castle."

...Seriously... WTF? ...Scary part is that this happens ALL the time...