Is it me or is it beyond obvious when someone needs a drink to "bring them down"
It amazes me how "off the hook" some people can get... Extreme dancing or grinding of the teeth are probably two of the biggest give aways. I must say that this is very uncomfortable to experience. I run to these people first for a few reasons. 1.) They are usually hanging over the bar flagging me down as if their kid just got ran over by a bus and they need someone to dial 911 2.) They are causing a commotion that they completely unaware of 3.) I'm afraid their heart will explode if I don't get to them fast enough!
The great thing is that there is no such thing as over serving when it comes to these people. It's like a sand bag in a storm... Do you think I should recommend a yoga class or two?
Friday, October 23, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Bartender's Wet Dream (Posted By Drink Queen)
Hahaha, peaked your interest? Well, no I didn't have one and no, it's not a drink! A "bartender's wet dream" can be several things. For me, this is what it is:
1. A psychic barback, who knows all things to come. The MVP of the whole operation. THe one who has the bottle of Grey Goose opened with a speed pourer and slides it into my hand while I am making a drink. A barback, who looks at the tickets on the service bar, without pulling them and gets me all of the glassware, beer and wines for all the drinks I need to make in the middle of a 300 cover happy hour. Who is always pleasant and hugs. Whom I swear has an S on his chest or at least shaved into their chest hair.
Stop shaking your head in disbelief!!! Such a thing exists!
His name is Ricardo and when I work I think I am slightly in love with him. (when I work;) lol. I watch him and a tear slowly runs down my cheek from pride and amazement. He would make a killer bartender. Go Ricardo!! (ay papi!)
Oh wait!! Did I mention he makes a KILLER guacamole?!?
And I will never give him up.
I will take him everywhere I go by bribery and bedroom eyes, hahaha. No really.
2. Is the guest who doesn't complain, nor takes your time, doesn't modify their order, can handle their alcohol and tips at least 50%.
Oh well, one out of two ain't bad!!!
The Game of Monopoly (Posted By Drink Queen)
The Game of Monopoly
Bar Monopoly that is, lol. Confused? Well let me elaborate;) There is always that one person at the bar that wants to monopolize the bartender's time. There are several reasons for this.
1. Loneliness
2. Indecisiveness
3. Disillusionment
4. Jealousy
5. Does not play well with others
6. Ego-maniac
7. Alcoholic
Whatever the reason, at no point, is it ok to monopolize the bartenders time. We must share our love amongst the others, occasionally showing more love to some;)
My favorite is the 1/2 disillusioned 1/2 ego-maniac. The one who wants the bartender, asks all types of inappropriate questions, such as age and attachment status and tips one dollar on happy hour. I love you...NOT. The only thing that I admire here is the balls it takes to habitually do this. Clearly, I only admire this behavior when I am watching being "done" to another bartender friend. So wrong, but so fun!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
B.O. Blog! (LITERALLY)
Every now and then there is that customer with the horrific body odor that stands at your bar. Usually you can't figure out who it is and all you can do is your best to not throw up... Occasionally another customer will bitch and moan about it, but for the most part everyone just shuts up, deals with it and hopes to high heaven that whoever it is finds their way out of the bar quickly!
Tonight was putrefaction at it's finest! In all sincerity I had to spray the Oust can twice and fan it around. It was a sour stench that made me avoid that end of the bar completely. At this point I'm not only getting sick, but I'm starting to get mad. It's offensive to everyone and it is completely unacceptable; PERIOD!
Well, I am happy to say she was found and escorted outside. Her friend had to translate the message which was delivered in the nicest way possible... It was apparently a REALLY uncomfortable situation, but I must say that I, and other customers, were very happy to finally see someone do something about it.
Maybe she'll start wearing deodorant. Maybe there is nothing she can do about it and just needs a serious liver detox... Either which way, I do hope she finds herself some new friends! Ones who will give her the heads up before a complete stranger has no choice but to!
Tonight was putrefaction at it's finest! In all sincerity I had to spray the Oust can twice and fan it around. It was a sour stench that made me avoid that end of the bar completely. At this point I'm not only getting sick, but I'm starting to get mad. It's offensive to everyone and it is completely unacceptable; PERIOD!
Well, I am happy to say she was found and escorted outside. Her friend had to translate the message which was delivered in the nicest way possible... It was apparently a REALLY uncomfortable situation, but I must say that I, and other customers, were very happy to finally see someone do something about it.
Maybe she'll start wearing deodorant. Maybe there is nothing she can do about it and just needs a serious liver detox... Either which way, I do hope she finds herself some new friends! Ones who will give her the heads up before a complete stranger has no choice but to!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Bartending is very different this side of the atlantic (Posted By Shane)
There are many similarities between bartenders everywhere and the crap we all have to deal with, but unfortunatley here in the UK things are very different from most of you guys in the states and canada. Having briefly lived in New York, I would kill to work as a bartender over there full time.
Here in the London and the uk as a whole, most rookie bartenders earn minimum wage a measly 5.80 pounds an hour, and even some of the guys longer in the tooth earn maybe 7-8 quid an hour, however the kicker is our tips are realitively nothing, maybe a crummy $30-50 on a good night. The problem here is that most bartenders are students looking for a quick buck and bosses are only happy to employ them on the cheap and don't care about the standard of the crap they flog.
This causes major problems for us guys in for the long haul and leaves us with 3 choices, 1 is quit and get "a real job" (not happening: early mornings, offices-no chance!)
Another is to learn quickly and be a bar whore switching jobs every few months gathering more and more experience and hopefully getting into a good cocktail bar, where the pay is much better, as are the tips but with so few around this is extremely difficult and is achieved more by luck than skill.
The final choice is to prove your worth and get into management asap, working up the ranks from supervisor, to head bartender, bar manager and God forbid general manager.
This is the road I have been forced to take, in this capacity I now deal less and less with customers, make less drinks and spend more time at my laptop and dealing with the general managers problems, doing rota's and other disinteresting shit. So what has happened is that london's best bartenders are now forced to give up what they enjoy and are good at (serving quality drinks and dealing with customers) to sustain a living and therefore the industry is left in a shambles with bottomfeeders throwing out slurried drinks without care or passion.
Don't get me wrong i'm more than grateful to have a job with a decent wage but I feel my fervour and love of this industry is being wasted, and I believe this trend has to stop very soon if our industry is going to survive with any of its reputation intact.
During my time working as a bartender in NYC I was amazed at the level of respect the bartenders were shown comparison to london, where we command just a bit more respect the homeless and just a bit less than the trash man. Unfortunatley there is no tipping culture in the uk whatsoever and many of the bottomfeeders don't even bother to try to earn tips by working harder, they see is as a waste of energy as they are guranteed money for their shift anyway.
Overall I hope things change fast otherwise the industry here in the uk is screwed, which would be a terrible thing with olympics fast approaching.
Anyone got a spare green card?
Here in the London and the uk as a whole, most rookie bartenders earn minimum wage a measly 5.80 pounds an hour, and even some of the guys longer in the tooth earn maybe 7-8 quid an hour, however the kicker is our tips are realitively nothing, maybe a crummy $30-50 on a good night. The problem here is that most bartenders are students looking for a quick buck and bosses are only happy to employ them on the cheap and don't care about the standard of the crap they flog.
This causes major problems for us guys in for the long haul and leaves us with 3 choices, 1 is quit and get "a real job" (not happening: early mornings, offices-no chance!)
Another is to learn quickly and be a bar whore switching jobs every few months gathering more and more experience and hopefully getting into a good cocktail bar, where the pay is much better, as are the tips but with so few around this is extremely difficult and is achieved more by luck than skill.
The final choice is to prove your worth and get into management asap, working up the ranks from supervisor, to head bartender, bar manager and God forbid general manager.
This is the road I have been forced to take, in this capacity I now deal less and less with customers, make less drinks and spend more time at my laptop and dealing with the general managers problems, doing rota's and other disinteresting shit. So what has happened is that london's best bartenders are now forced to give up what they enjoy and are good at (serving quality drinks and dealing with customers) to sustain a living and therefore the industry is left in a shambles with bottomfeeders throwing out slurried drinks without care or passion.
Don't get me wrong i'm more than grateful to have a job with a decent wage but I feel my fervour and love of this industry is being wasted, and I believe this trend has to stop very soon if our industry is going to survive with any of its reputation intact.
During my time working as a bartender in NYC I was amazed at the level of respect the bartenders were shown comparison to london, where we command just a bit more respect the homeless and just a bit less than the trash man. Unfortunatley there is no tipping culture in the uk whatsoever and many of the bottomfeeders don't even bother to try to earn tips by working harder, they see is as a waste of energy as they are guranteed money for their shift anyway.
Overall I hope things change fast otherwise the industry here in the uk is screwed, which would be a terrible thing with olympics fast approaching.
Anyone got a spare green card?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
If you want to strike up a conversation...
...then think of something intelligent to talk about. PLEASE! ...Every Tom, Dick and Harry feels the need to inquire about me and my life... I'm over talking about me and honestly it's none of your business considering that we just met... If you REALLY want to know about me then keep coming back. Regulars have the right to learn about the personal details... Not the new guy... In the meantime lets talk about movies, books, politics, art, the particle collider, North Korea and their 4th of July plans, Ren & Stimpy... You get my point...
Seriously...
Don't ask me if I'm an actress. I know we live in LA but this question is getting really old...
Don't ask me what I do on my free time
Don't ask me where I live (yes, a guy asked me this tonight!)
Don't ask me how my boyfriend feels about me being a bartender (this is the LAMEST attempt to find out if I am single or not)
Don't try to talk yourself up in any way, shape or form. Just BE! ...Last night a guy made it an obvious point to mention that he was a doctor. I guess he assumed that I didn't hear him since I never inquired as to what kind of doctor he was. So, upon signing out his tab he left a note which read, "If you're single and want to date a really annoying doctor then please call or text me @ 310-495-5412..." 1.) I heard you the first time 2.) I still could care less... 3.) Texting is going to be the death of relationships. Do you really want to start off that way!? ...Mind you, at the same time the waitress is being talked up by some dude who's rambling on about his porshe, ferrari, etc... Bottom line is, if you use external things to win girls over then you most likely have nothing to offer that I'd be interested in...
People, just be real... If you have nothing interesting in your noggin that you are truly interested in conversing about then zip it until you do... Don't desperatly reach for something to fill the space. It's brain numbing and makes me want to find a glass to clean on the other side of the bar...
P.s. The doctors number found a home in the trash... However, I do recommend that you call the number above for a good laugh...
~Peace
Seriously...
Don't ask me if I'm an actress. I know we live in LA but this question is getting really old...
Don't ask me what I do on my free time
Don't ask me where I live (yes, a guy asked me this tonight!)
Don't ask me how my boyfriend feels about me being a bartender (this is the LAMEST attempt to find out if I am single or not)
Don't try to talk yourself up in any way, shape or form. Just BE! ...Last night a guy made it an obvious point to mention that he was a doctor. I guess he assumed that I didn't hear him since I never inquired as to what kind of doctor he was. So, upon signing out his tab he left a note which read, "If you're single and want to date a really annoying doctor then please call or text me @ 310-495-5412..." 1.) I heard you the first time 2.) I still could care less... 3.) Texting is going to be the death of relationships. Do you really want to start off that way!? ...Mind you, at the same time the waitress is being talked up by some dude who's rambling on about his porshe, ferrari, etc... Bottom line is, if you use external things to win girls over then you most likely have nothing to offer that I'd be interested in...
People, just be real... If you have nothing interesting in your noggin that you are truly interested in conversing about then zip it until you do... Don't desperatly reach for something to fill the space. It's brain numbing and makes me want to find a glass to clean on the other side of the bar...
P.s. The doctors number found a home in the trash... However, I do recommend that you call the number above for a good laugh...
~Peace
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